Why Do I Feel Anxious When Someone Likes Me?

If you’ve ever wondered why do I feel anxious when someone likes me, especially when interest is mutual and nothing is “wrong,” you’re far from alone.

For many people, being liked doesn’t feel reassuring. Instead, it brings tension, self-doubt, or an urge to pull away. Understanding why you feel anxious when someone likes you often has less to do with the other person—and more to do with how your nervous system responds to closeness.

When Being Liked Feels Uncomfortable Instead of Reassuring

On the surface, attention and affection should feel good. So why do so many people search why do I feel anxious when someone likes me?

Common experiences include:

• Feeling pressure once interest is clear
• Overthinking every interaction
• Wanting distance after positive attention
• Feeling uneasy instead of excited

This reaction is not random. It’s often rooted in attachment patterns and emotional safety.

The Attachment-Based Explanation

A major reason why you feel anxious when someone likes you is that emotional interest activates your attachment system.

If closeness was inconsistent, overwhelming, or unpredictable earlier in life, your system may associate being liked with:

• Expectations
• Vulnerability
• Loss of control
• Emotional risk

When interest becomes clear, your nervous system may react before logic has time to catch up.

For a broader framework, see the Attachment Styles Overview.

Why Interest Can Feel Like Pressure

Another reason people ask why do I feel anxious when someone likes me is the unspoken shift that happens once attraction is mutual. Being liked can introduce:

• Expectations about consistency
• Fear of disappointing someone
• Concern about maintaining interest
• Pressure to respond “correctly”

For some attachment styles, this feels less like connection—and more like responsibility.

How Different Attachment Styles Experience This Anxiety

Understanding why you feel anxious when someone likes you depends on your attachment tendencies.

Anxious Attachment

• Fear of losing interest
• Over-monitoring reactions
• Worrying about saying the wrong thing

Learn more in the Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style guide.

Avoidant Attachment

• Discomfort with emotional closeness
• Urge to pull away when interest is clear
• Feeling trapped by expectations

See Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

• Wanting closeness but fearing it
• Emotional push–pull
• Confusion about feelings

Explore Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style.

Why Anxiety Often Appears When Things Are Going Well

One of the most confusing parts of why do I feel anxious when someone likes me is that anxiety often appears after positive connection. That’s because conflict is familiar, uncertainty feels predictable, and calm closeness is unfamiliar.

When things go well, your system may not know how to stay relaxed. This explains why anxiety can increase after good dates, affectionate messages, or signs of commitment.

What This Anxiety Is (and Is Not)

Understanding why you feel anxious when someone likes you also means clearing up what this reaction does not mean. It does not mean:

• You don’t want connection
• You’re incapable of intimacy
• Something is wrong with you
• The other person is doing anything wrong

It simply means closeness is activating protective patterns.

Why This Can Lead to Pulling Away or Self-Sabotage

For some people, anxiety when being liked leads to emotional withdrawal, overthinking texts, or even losing interest suddenly. This is often an attempt to restore internal calm.

If this pattern sounds familiar, you may also relate to Why Do Avoidants Lose Interest Suddenly.

How Awareness Can Change the Experience

You don’t have to eliminate anxiety to build healthy relationships. What helps is recognizing anxiety as a signal, not a command, and learning the difference between danger and discomfort.

For many people, understanding their pattern is the first step toward feeling safer in connection.

FAQ: Why Do I Feel Anxious When Someone Likes Me?